1. Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
2. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
5. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
7. Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
8. Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
9. Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
11. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
12. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
16. The preacher will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing "Break Forth With Joy."
17. Today...Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course, 8p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.
18. During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.
19. The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.
20. The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
21. The eighth graders' will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
MORE CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS (Forwarded by Peggy Wilson)
Ushers will eat latecomers.
The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.
Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
"Wise Up, O Men of God"
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
The peace-making meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
Tonight's sermon-"What is hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
The agenda was adopted...the minutes were approved...the financial secretary gave a grief report.
Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
The 'Over 60s Choir' will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.
Missionary from Africa speaking at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Name: Bertha Belch.Announcement: "Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa."
Announcement in a church bulletin for a National Prayer & Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer conference includes meals."
The Perfect Riddle
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met.
After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding.
Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple were
driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they
noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being
the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa
Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint
any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple
loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were
driving along delivering the toys.
Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the
perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of
them survived the accident.
Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer.)
The perfect woman. She's the only one who really existed in
the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and
there is no such thing as a perfect man.
Women, end e-mail here. Men, keep scrolling.
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the
perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why
there was a car accident.
Come to think of it...... if you're a woman and you're
reading this, this brings up another point: women never
listen either.